Thursday, February 28, 2008

Fairmont pepperoni roll.

Today was Higher Education Day at the Capitol. All the schools had their booths up and ready: the technical colleges, the community colleges, the universities. Some lured onlookers with candy, one with little cakes, one with a chocolate fountain, one with barbecue. But what better way to fill the West Virginia collegiate space than our pepperoni rolls? Thanks Fairmont State.

Sadly, I don't know from which company/individual these hail. I could have asked, but the Fairmont rep was having serious college-talks. I didn't want to be the one: Hey Mister, where'd ya get this here pepperoni roll!? On to the roll and my main point of contention: pepperoni sticks. I am just not a fan of the pepperoni stick. Besides that, there just wasn't enough pepperoni stick anyhow. The roll was a little too light for its size which means, by my calculations--besides the lack of meat--there was something amiss with the remainder, i.e. the breading. Bread that's TOO airy just won't cut it; technically, the bread was simply too dry. With a little more meat the bread could have attained that perfectly greasy state, and with perhaps a dab of cheese, we could have had something good here. Pepperoni rolls math says MORE PEPPERONI.

Don't let me down again, Fairmont State whatever. You school represents the city that represents the finest of pepperoni rolls--the birthplace of the p.r., in fact--yet you presented the state with this dreck. Your face to the world is a subpar pepperoni roll. I'm saddened, honestly. But thanks for the free stuff!

2 comments:

Mimi said...

so what happened to the pepperoni roll report?

JetSet said...

I'd like to suggest photographic documentation of these rolls.

I'm just throwing that out there; if you like it, take it, if you don't, send it right back.